A story of the Lonely

Hay, a new house or am I just flaky!

Yeah, we finally have a new apartment where Claire, sir Nino, winie and me stay. It’s really cheap, for an apartment like that, that is even though I keep on ranting about how stupid the engineer was when he built it. I really want to shout at his face and say that he should never design a staircase that has different "rise” on it. What was he thinking? That staircase is Lego puzzles or he was just being a trying hard deconstructive? Or a cheating professional, perhaps; persuading the client that he should use three kinds of paints instead of two. Engineers like that should be killed or maybe burned along with the useless scaffoldings!

Nonetheless, (and furthermore according to Philip, my classmate in Ah4 which is a enthusiastic freshmen— Gosh, I hate that soon to be faggot-not that I hate gays, I just don’t like that Philip person, he reminds me of a Mongol pencil!) I think the place was quite good. I get to have my own space where people would not invade my private life except for Winnie of course who keeps on talking about the things that she has learned lately (and I can forgive her for that because that kind of habit runs in our blood—talk about Claire!).

But the place is really good. I can save up, that is if I try to but still I keep on buying these useless things, or at least I think I am buying useless things. Anyway, the house is a lot and it gives me time to breathe and be alone. That is a relief. Ever since first year in college, I have been living with strangers and have been trying to blend with them whether I like to or not. And sometimes, it has sacrifice my private world. But now, with this new apartment, I get to recall me and be me (or I think I will).

However, (quoting Philips introduction to every recitation), I also have issues. I have issues like not being able to speak my mind a lot and always reminding myself that there forte is not architecture and I should forgive them when the become so perky about certain building (buildings that are failures in architecture in our class discussions but beautiful architecture to others) and also about the misconception of architecture, that is good design is making complex, intricate and bizarre buildings but in fact, architecture is not like that. It is about space and people and how they blend with each other. It is about how a certain structure brings comfort to people. Design is not about strangeness of form, it is how space serves human kind regardless of how simple or complex design may be.

But I never get to explain these to them because they get to be know-it-alls of architecture all of a sudden (and I also know that that is the tendency of the adult!) so I just gulp my words and forget about it.

Still, I like the house.

Parasite

Twini said that he was a one of a kind parasite; the kind of person that one would never get to be friends with. The kind of person that sucks the life out of others.

As I was listening to her, for an instance I thought, “Yes, she was right!” but he was never

ONE

of a Kind. He was never special. In fact, he was the most common parasite of its kind. The kind of species one sees in cabinets and wooden furniture; the kind whom everyone wants to eradicate or maybe splat in an instant and never to see or be acquainted with again.

Yes, this was exactly the kind of parasite ANAY was. He sucked the life out of everyone. He sucked the life out of me and the life out of Richie. The worst part was that he did not even realize that he did such act. In fact, he was convinced that all his intentions were legal and worth appreciated.

Oh god! If only the universe knew how to exterminate people like this and with the flick of a magic wand, he would no longer be part of the human specie. I would exchange three wishes for a wish to destroy him and bury him into the deepest core of this earth.

A sigh! And I then realized that life consist of wolves in sheep’s skin. Well, he never had a sheep skin. In fact, he had the thickest skin even a bark of a tree could not match to it.

A parasite! And I would tell myself that one day he would be in the same shoes as Ex-DJ with everyone talking behind his back. Or worst, Mr. Bubble, the worst whom everyone hated and never wished to be seen with in PUBLIC places or even in private places or any place for that matter.

And then I would have to remind myself that such people die slow. Slow enough to swallow every grace of any place or person they pass by. And a sigh again for this ironic malady.

I guess if I would be diagnosed with a psychological sickness it would be addiction. I am a self- confess addict with virtual realities. And because of this, I sometimes become anti-social.

My addiction started when I had a relationship with Kyo. The universe made way for the things for us and we had fun being a couple, a virtual couple. Yes, I would consider him a part of my real relationship because I really like him then. In fact, I sort of drained out when we finally broke it off. But the thing is when you are in a virtual relationship, you rarely see the guy and that makes him really mysterious.

The things that make someone attractive are the things that you haven’t discovered yet. These are the times that you asked several questions. And create several characters in him that you would rather see. And then he becomes really fancy. And then he becomes the perfect person for you.

I am addicted to these things; things that I would rather dream and create than deal with.

My fear with real people is the fact that they are real. And sometimes, I don’t want to meet them because real people have real attitudes and characters.

Virtual realities are so defined. It is like reading a psychology book where one person’s character is defined: obsessed, anorexic, psycho..

And I would rather be well defined than be scattered into different personalities.