A story of the Lonely

I am counting the days being with a soul mate..because these might be the last months of having him..I know, he will be boarding a ship and staying in a trap ground with only an hour of shared feelings with me..and it kills me just thinking of these..cause I know it might happen..it will happen..and I would be left here alone like before with out daily assurance…and I might stumble and I might falter and I might be uncontented as opposite as my contentment today..

but it is inevitable..so I am counting these days..just for redemption that my tears are worth emptying when he will be out of my sight..

I don’t know what to do, honestly……..my soul mate is about to be trapped in a glass box and I have to wait for five long years for him to be free from the box..

it has been a while since I wrote a new blog..the last I remember was when I was still awake at five am waiting for the sun to rise so that I could go to Bucana for an ocular inspection..only to realize that cat and I did not need the inspection at all since we have all the information we needed. so, we went to the mall instead and talked about stuff and all..

gazillion things have happened since I last posted a blog, I passed my Bucana plate after almost a week of not sleeping and a deadly practice from Dance ensemble which happened to have a concert on the day of our deadlined plate.. how unfortunate could i be, but anyway, it was still worth it because i passed my plate and had a successful show with the dance ensemble anyway despite my freak outs and tantrums and the hectic schedule..

i just realize today that I could even have better when pressured than having a passive lifestyle..it’s really true…but I don’t think it can apply to other people..

there is a difference if you’re a cramer or just that you have to really cram becasue you need to. Im a cramer who needs to cram tonight because of all the got to dos,I can’t seem to figure out which one to start first and which one to "mediocrize!!"(this is my term, an adjective for making a thing mediocre. I invented it myself!..hehe

well,its just that I don’ really want this thing to be mediocre.. and I don’t want anything to be mediocrized!!

so now,I am stil awake with a a competition plate to do and not even have is done and a research proposal I sometimes squized with bloggin and friendster.

and all I could think off is sleep and looking forward to alot of to does tomorrow and wishing that I could kinda wake up early tomorrow so that  I could wash my clothes an do all the chores that I plan to do (because in a boarding house, you have to do everything by yourself!). but then I guess, I could never wake up early considering my excessive craming and a major OC for blogging!!

I am a wide reader. My parents taught me to be one. My sister Claire introduced me to all kinds of literature when I was in elementary staring from fantasy stories to really morbid ones by Anne Rice. Before I started highs school, I had already read Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles.

The best place for me to wait for somebody in the mall is the book sale portion where I could glance at books at 35 pesos and fight the urge of buying one. When I have the urge to buy one, all I could think of was the idea that probably there’s a copy of this book at home because I live in a home where book lovers also live. In fact, I live in a house where a book worm (literary) live. In fact, he sleeps with books on his bed and on his walls.

            Just recently, maybe fours hours ago, I happen to stroll around the book sale again and saw “Superfudge” in one of the corners. This made me nostalgic. I had read superfudege when I was maybe in grade three. I missed the book. I wanted to buy it <it cost 35 pesos> and put I it in a frame.

            Superfudge is my childhood. I read the story twice or thrice but never really get to understand it. The idea of reading a book was the only thing that made me read more and more books as I can even though I never really understood it.

            When I was in grade five, I had read almost all my sister Claire’s book collection in the summer. I did not care if it was for an adult or for a new born baby or what so ever. I just wanted to read because I wanted to count the books that I read and be proud of being a reader.

           Superfudge made me recall that attitude. It was just so funny I wanted to be a kid again and capture things without deciphering.

            Maybe it would be easier that way than have all the knowledge and still unhappy….